User:Tori

Various spreadsheets/docs/etc


Inquisitor Rap Battle

September 2016:

[Public] Laric: Half as long, twice as bright

[Public] Audric: (Second Son was the best one)

[Public] Ravna: SS was its own thing.

[Public] Gareth: Laric, you bragging again?

[Public] Joscelin LAUGHS

[Public] Ravna: Also, Cole is God.

[Public] Laric: why you gotta be so rude

[Public] Joscelin: Ow, Gareth. OW.

[Public] Laric: for such an ugly dude

[Public] Laric: why you gotta be so rude

[Public] Gareth: Don't you know I'm human tooooo?

[Public] Laric: im gonna style on you anyway

[Public] Dawn: Inquisitor rap battle GO

[Public] Ravna: Winner plays dice.

[Public] Joscelin opens her mouth, readies a rap about Thedas... and realize it's not the kind of Inquisitor.

[Public] Silas bets on Laric.

[Public] Gareth: My name is Gareth and I'm here to say, you li'l 'quizzy bitch best get out my way. My deformed face and limpish walk, make me more badass than your preachy talk. I ain't a fraid of no demon or ghoul, 'nyone steps to me? I pitty that fool.

[Public] Laric: The best I can do is regurgitate memes while im behind the wheel but when I get home I'll lyrically bury you

[Public] Laric: The best I can do is regurgitate memes while im behind the wheel but when I get home I'll lyrically bury you

[Public] Gareth: I can do this all day, I don't intend to be mean. Just a challenge was lain down, and I'm high on caffine. You drive and text like some kind of joker, I'll strap you right up watch out for the poker. The steel's so hot, just like my rhymes. Go toddle on, stop wastin' my time.

[Public] Laric: There can only be one grand Prince inquisitor I am the original and you are simply an imposter, put you in a foster family cuz I dropped your true blood and i'm laughin while my foots on your head face down in the mud, I oppress you so hard youd think im a freemason so lets face facts im the superior grayson

[Public] Gareth: Superior grayson? I'm the major-league gay son. I choose men to give you a chance, you steppin up to me or leadin' a dance. Don't worry, pal, I know all the moves, you've got the new clothes but I'm the new groove. You had your time to prove who's the best, you talk about blood just like the rest. Your name was made up, like in some kind of fable. But look at me, bitch, I'm on the Round Table.

[Public] Laric: My swag is out of control fresh, chain mesh got me protected while you are botching your rhyme sesh, they call me Laric since I'm one step away from the king, when the Gods made a joke like you they were laughing. But when you diss the duds fam I don't think its no joke, your lyrical ability aint improved just cause you say you poke blokes

[Public] Laric: I parked my car to have this rap battle

[Public] Gareth: One step from the king, don't mean a thing. Poor kid's all snoozin, like the rhymes you are losin', you're lucky you're movin', though I am behoovin', all these cats are goovin', while you're Loony Toonin', I'm smoothin', they're swoonin', you're gruenin'.

[Public] Laric: ALL HAIL THE INQUISITORIAL EQUIVALENT OF JESUS, I have risen from the dead to flow cause your rhymes cant please us, the gods see us, and when they look upon my bacchanalian tude they smile and wonder how you manage to spoil everyones mood, I'm ludacris, insane, off the proverbial chain, I rap because if we drew swords you'd be instantly slain and I'd prefer to take my time and watch you lyrically severed in twain.

[Public] Gareth: If you're just like Jesus, that's why you can't 'ppease us. Died on a cross and decided to leave us. For two thousand years, we ain't heard a thing. And you still think of the Jews he's a king? You mention the Christ and then hang out with Bacchus? That's what you are, some religious hack-ass. If we drew swords, sure, I might expire. But I'd come right back as a vengeful Vampire. I'd suck all your blood and be super sick, 'cause just like your skull your blood's all-too thick.

[Public] Laric: You stepped up but you got no place on the stage with the gods, I'm faithful cause divine right helps me to even the odds, my blood would knock you flat on your pasty undead ass cause Im savage, and through your entire parasitic branch of the grayson line I do ravage with rhymes no one can deny constitute a fed ed package straight from heaven, i could spend a eleven hundred million silvers on the best comic show money could buy, and it still wouldnt be as funny as listening to you try to step to me, i recommend you see, that you turn and flee, before you find yourself across a cross of the Holy See, and that is just a nice suggestion prince inquisitorially.

[Public] Gareth: You stopped by the curb, like you're lookin' for strange. Sorry dear pal, Josie don't take change. You think you're so awesome, so strong with the lyrics. I don't much care if my victory's pyrrhic. You wanna bring up gods, like they really matter? Better introduce you to my man Ptah. Tight white cloak and carries a staff, dead a long while he'd still cut you in half. He spoke the first words, and gave them to me. Like all these myths, you're just history. I started my time impressing the girls, your messy words just make Alrec hurl. I'm sorry 'bout that man, I don't mean this rebuke. But even I can't argue with the power of puke. There's a guest here arrived to see you fall flat, don't worry though. I'll make you a mat.

[Public] Laric: I have to concede [Public] Laric: You are the rap champion [Public] Laric: his freestyle game too stronf [Public] Laric: someone help me i need to be taken to the burn ward

[Public] Gareth: If we rappers have offended, think but this and all is mended. That you have but slumbered here, while these legends did appear. Laric's weak and idle theme, just spouting old forgotten meme. Gentles, do not reprehend. If you pardon, I will mend. And as I did beat this schmuck, if I have unearned luck. Now to take his serpent tongue, I make amends 'ere long. Else dear Gareth, a liar call. So good night unto you all. Give me your hands if we be friends, and sweet Gareth shall restore amends.

[Public] Laric made it home without any crashes. [Public] Gareth: Aside from that bit in the middle where your rap career crashed. [Public] Kima: Hallelujah! [Public] Kima: And Gareth drops further sick burns. [Public] Brianna has never seen Hamlet, she admits. [Public] Laric: Do not test me Gareth I am not on the road anymore and I am comfy at home. Don't let me into my zone, don't let me into my zone, don't let me into my zone, you haters leave me alone.

[Public] Gareth: Into your zone? Man your ego's so big there's a zoning restriction. I'm typing one handed, still my words aren't broken. I'm puffin' away like your engine, I'm smokin'. Now smokers are jokers, this is something I know. But even throat cancer won't mess with my flow. I'll fight my own biology if that's what I need, you rhyme like your pecker. Lacking in seed.

[Public] Laric: Whoa whoa hold on Gareth, I was just memeing. It's a rap song. I need more time to recover.

[Public] Gareth: Aww, poor little Laric is creatively stunted. Though we all laughed when Ravna was punted. Little 'quisitor was brave on the road, now he's acting like Mario who just found a Toad. I'm sorry if you think this is a hassle, much like your skill your princess is in another castle.

[Public] Gareth: Immortalized? You. Don't make me giggle. Ravna you're twisted, just like a Smeagol. JRR couldn't write my words better, I could demolish you on the back of a letter. I won't be mean though, I'll give you a hook. Ravna, my love, you won't make the book.

[Public] Laric: Alright Gareth you forced my single hand, I'm getting out the chains and I'm heating up the brand, your ridiculous little rhymes about video games are pounding sand, but I don't play games son, I'm the motherfucking man. My flows will drown you through your mouth and nose, I'm savaging your guts while you sit there and fucking pose, ridiculous, the premise that you think you can step to me, for all of that fuss you blow hard and then you disappointingly stutter-stop, you can't take the worst of me on your own, git, on my lyric throne - I sit, on your dumbass flow - I shit, you swingin' wild - I just hit, and at the end of the day it's survival of the fittest and you just a darwin' award winner, now run back to your little hole in the ground, sinner.

[Public] Ravna coughs, "Hickory Dickory Dock, the Courtesan's laugh at your co- I should probably stop there."